Sunday, 8 May 2011

A MAN BAN? WHY NOT!!!



It all began as I opened my fresh and newly bought copy of Company magazine. My favourite magazine of the year so far. I flicked to my favourite part of the magazine which was the fashion spread obviously followed by the beauty report and then onto the scopes and so forth. But there was one part of the issue that intrigued me, the latest trend in a singles girl life that is "a man ban".






It is said that in a man ban women are not allowed to flirt with the opposite sex, get their numbers, kiss them, hug them or do the DEED with them. (Sex in other words) so, I thought to myself why would any woman or young woman in my case want to subject themselves to painful months of no guys? Then it hit me, I needed it. I'm realised that I was actually the biggest flirt that was born. (Well that's not really true, look at Urika Johnson. Jesus, she's open more than tesco) but many of friends have laughed while saying "Han, you are such a flirt" and I would reply, "I was just being friendly!" which to me I was but it doesn't always seem that way.



Alot of people know that I have been boyfriendless for seven months and as much as I have missed him I've also been thankful because I can NEVER adapt to relationships and single life seems to suit me alot more than it does when I'm with someone. I hate meeting the parents, I don't like to share my bed with ANYONE, I am awkward in the sense that I annoy alot of people because of that quality and I have big ambitions. So the idea of falling in love and sharing every single dark corner of my mind with someone "special" terrifies me. Whereas single life means, no strings attached dates and mindless flirting. But you can still get lonely, I know I am.






So, I had my BFF to take a look at it and she was impressed by just as much as I was. It seemed like a good idea to follow througha and have some fun with. So, for three months I shall give myself a man ban. No flirting or texting for 3 months!!!!! Holy shit, three months???? How art wilt thou live??????












Sunday, 1 May 2011

ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, ALL THE SINGLE LADIES!!!



As I stood in the foyer awaiting the arrival of my friend Bronwen since her brilliant show footloose (posted below) I had the problem of the wandering eye as I caught sight of all the good looking chaps that had appeared in the show as dancers, singers and actors. It soon escalated to practically grabbing the lead actor, telling the other lead that he was hot (yes, he was scared) and getting a hug from one of the dancers! No doubt was that the icing on top of the cake!



But I suppose that all comes with the territory of being single, and girls, what a sweet life it really is. I mean, only a few months ago I was practically sad and mopey that I was single and missed all those hugs and kisses and long phonecalls to the boyfriend. I was dumped only seven months ago on my seventeenth by text! no doubt I was upset, angry, hurt, confused and couldn't stop crying. We weren't together that long but due to our friendship of five years that really put more salt in the wounds because we weren't from being friends to lovers and suddenly we are no longer on speaking terms. But I suppose I learnt my lesson, and that's not to get involved with your friends unless your really sure it's what you both want and need.



So, I moped around the place and tried to think of ways to get him back and call him my boy again, but all my strategies failed as he had moved on and I was frozen in time because I didn't know what to do. I missed him, I miss him now but when I think to myself "I would give anything to have him as my man again", I think to myself, "he dumped me on my birthday by text! what a sleaze", then suddenly life seems much better.



So, seven months on and no real attachments just flirts and giggles with handsome lads and let me tell you, it is great! It's better this way because no one really gets hurt and everyone wins somehow. Instead of staying in and listening to terrible love songs and crying, I am actually getting out and just being 17 and having so much fun! I mean, at least now I can focus on my own ambition and dreams rather than be pulled back and hurt over and over again. And believe me, I have been hurt way to effing much by people in the past. So, yes I am single, yes, it's fun and no, I don't want a boyfriend because love is a game, easy to start hard to finish!






Oh and my ex is a bastard.

GOTTA CUT LOOSE, FOOTLOOSE.......

So, last night was WAWWAWS musical theatre production of footloose, the classic tale of rebellion and dancing..... obviously! And I must say, I have never seen such a great company do such a performance. My college is pretty good within themselves but WAWWAWS seem to blow everyone away EVERYTIME not to mention the main lead was hooottttttt......... who I very abruptly scared by forcefully hugging the poor boy (truly sorry) not to mention I made a massive fool of myself infront of the guy that played Willard! but apart from that it was a good night. My reason for travelling all that way for a show was because I wanted to support and watch my life long buddy do her thang on stage, which she did, and she looked so radiant whilst doing so. So, a good night, I enjoyed!

Thursday, 28 April 2011

BLOSSOMS IN THE DUST



As I glance out of my window I can see flower beds more vibrant than ever.



The sky holds a lilac watercolour with pastel shades of pink, blending in with a golden hue.



Fields and meadows are the lushest colour of green through the the tall grass.



Rivers flow slowly and calmly over stones and rocks.



Lavender fills the gentle breeze as I walk amongst the bedding they inhabit.



A pink chinese blossom tree catches my eye and so I watch this exquisite beauty for a moment.



Joy is inside me as I catch sight of the blossoms falling gently to the floor.



I scoop one up in my hand but a tear falls from my eye.



When the spring fades away and the memories of summer are to be erased, I know.



I know, these blossoms shall soon be only blossoms in the dust.



BLOSSOMS IN THE DUST

THE LEAGUE OF THE OBNOXIOUS GENTLEMEN



A clad of starry eyed and hopelessly idiotic fans and followers are gathered around him with the one hope that he’ll become their head of the green committee. He bluntly points out that he doesn’t care whether or not he has to make a change within the high school; he just wants to boost his reputation. But there was one statement that he made had me rolling my eyes and that was “beautiful people get it better, that’s just the way it is”, yep, the rise of the obnoxious men just gets stronger through the elixir of each impressionable girl they find.



This comes from the opening scene of Beastly, a new movie that’s recently been released in movie theatres and I’ve seen with a friend called Faye. Alex Pettyfer is the leading man who plays the part of Kyle. A rich and spoilt handsome teenager with only one concern, vanity. He doesn’t care about anyone else who are below his status (sounds like a guy I know…….. ) and he just wants more power and more fame. He knows he’s good looking and looks practically perfect and that again is something I find amusing because even though Kyle saw himself as a good looking chap now, surely forty years down the line he would be fat, bald and have the IQ of a fish.



But watching the excruciatingly terrible first twenty predictable minutes of the film it struck a chord within me, there are more obnoxious and arrogant men around now then there ever were. It may have something to do with the fact that heterosexuals are considered as a height of fashion because more men are straightening their hair, (ridiculous yes I know) they use face creams, (well, at least stubble is no longer the issue) and more men are battling their way to get the latest issue of vogue! (As Brandon Flowers once said, this is the world that we live in) and now topshop has adopted a best friend named topman and this is how it’s all begun. Because these men are looking after themselves more and improving their looks (some go to more extremes like surgery) they want women who can do the same and so they look above these “ordinary plain Jane’s” and set their eyes on “extrodanairy fake Barbie’s”, and so the rise of these men continue to grow.



As girls we’ve all encountered these men. The one’s that constantly talk about themselves, use thirty minutes MINIMUM in the bathroom mirror, cannot decide to buy the teal coloured tank top or the blue coloured tank top, don’t know the meaning of the word modesty and always try to flirt with your mum at parents evening and forget you go to their school! (Maybe they don’t ACTUALLY flirt with the mum) but you know what I mean. But I don’t see us girls really rolling our eyes at these boys and just ignoring them, no we don’t, because we are intrigued. I mean, I don’t mean to sound shallow here but the only reason I went to see Beastly was to watch in awe of Alex Pettyfer’s buff body, which me and my friend Faye do NOT regret that reason (Faye just wants her fame right now). I felt slightly bad though as I am a movie buff myself and normally I want to go and see the film for a brilliant cast and good plot line. But with this film, I just wanted to appreciate Alex’s good looks and charm. (I ignored his wooden acting and his lack of chemistry with Gabriella Monte- sorry, Vanessa Hudgens) Kyle portrayed everything in which most of these men are nowadays, selfish, arrogant and obnoxious (a bit of publicity there) not to mention idiotic. But we as girls seem to be attracted to these men for one reason; they are good looking despite their superficial personality.



Whereas Alex Pettyfer’s role in Beastly was hardly a memorable role for his acting but more for his supermodel physique and bone structure. Before going to see Beastly I did some research on the cast. (I didn’t need too on Vanessa. I just knew she was THAT girl from High School Musical) and even though I knew Alex from storm breaker I wanted to know more before I watched the movie. I found a rather hilarious video of him taking off his shirt on Ellen which was much to the satisfaction of the impressionable girls in the front rows. Yes, it was very nice to see but then you realize that this guy is only getting roles because of what he looks like no matter his acting and that within itself is obnoxious behavior because when they know they are very good looking they will always try to get everything they want.



I know a certain guy like this, one that is not short of female attention and is always looking down at the girls that don’t fit into the criteria of “stunning, stupid and sexy” but who cares? At the end of the day, why should we as girls try to impress these obnoxious men when they will never make good boyfriends? Yes, in Beastly he was put under a spell and was ugly and fell for the outcast blah blah blah blah but we know that the real arrogant race of today’s society are NOT going to run into a scary witch that wears clothes that was once owned by Stevie Nicks and go all voodoo on their butts. We just have to wait for them to realize that they aren’t the most amazing thing that was created; they are all merely just another cliché.



A WEDDING? SHOULD I BUY A NEW HAT?



So, we only have one day remaining until it's the celebration of the marriage of Kate Middleton and Prince William. How exciting? I for one have never seen a royal wedding televised so I cannot wait. And, it's also the perfect opportunity to get sloshed and laugh at the mere thought of Charles doing the cha cha slide! I mean, could you imagine such a joyous sight? While everyone is being merry and so forth we have Charles getting all ghetto and doing all the "to the left, to the right, take it back now ya'll" buisness. I mean, if he does get his groove on then it would such a brilliant sight as for one it's Charles! You never imagine such a man releasing his inner Jay Z then there's the possibility of Prince Harry doing the karaoke which again would be such a brilliant sight as I believe these are the possible songs he would sing just for a laugh. "Baby" by Justin Beiber. "I believe in miracles" by the band from the seventies and possibly "sex on fire" by kings of leon. But all jokes aside, it is going to be one of those events that shall forever go down in history because Kate Middelton has won over the public with her charms, kindness and truly down to earth personality. And of course her loreal swooshy hair. It is also a shame that Diana is not alive to witness such a brilliant even but we all know that she'll be there in spirit, smiling and congratulating her son. And we all know she would have approved of the lovely Kate Middleton. So, allow us all to raise a glass, or two, or three or four........ hell, lets raise a bloody bottle to Kate and William! Congratulations you two! Oh, and if anyone see's Charles break dancing at any time during the reception then PLEASE call me over!